so, today was a crappy day.
things went pretty well. and then lunch came and went. after lunch on a friday? well, let's just say that the natives get pretty restless on a friday afternoon. and by "natives," i mean 7th and 8th graders.
second to last period, i had to spend 10 minutes lecturing my 8th graders on treating each other with respect. and as i was lecturing, aiming my words at a specific two students who'd just finished pushing each others' belongings off their desks, another student decides to trip one of his classmates. i kind of lost it at that point.
last period, i recited some words of wisdom from The Office. i was explaining to the class that sometimes, we need to think before we act. and then it hit me! you know who has said this better than i will ever be able to say it?
answer: Dwight Schrute.
now, before i imparted the following nugget of wisdom, i prefaced myself by saying, "just so we're clear, i am not calling any of you an idiot. i just think this will clearly explain what i am trying to say to you. Dwight Schrute once said:
'Before I do anything I ask myself “Would an idiot do that?”
And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.'
And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.'
i think these are words we should all live by in this class."
i thought i'd be able to leave it at that. the class was actually much better than they normally are last period on a warm, friday afternoon, and things were going well.
about ten minutes before class ended, i looked over at one of the tables, and noticed two boys with their hands covering their noses and mouths, making fake fart sounds.
so i said, "stop! what did we talk about earlier, guys?"
i saw the wheels turning in their heads. and then i saw the glimmer of recognition as they remembered Dwight's brilliant words and slowly attempted to apply them to their own lives. they both lowered their hands, and i suggested to the class that perhaps i should find a way to inscribe the words on my wall...to remind us all that we should think before making *cough! (idiotic) poor behavioral choices.
the two boys' classmates agreed wholeheartedly.
LATER.
happy hour.
having a good time, drinking some happy hour specials. finally, it's time to go. i'm about to head straight home, but i decide there's someplace special i want to go first.
that's right, ladies and gentlemen.
i went to HALF PRICE BOOKS.
i wandered around for a bit, picked out WAY more books than i should have, and purchased all of them without considering the consequences at all. in fact, all i could think as i hauled my stack of books out of the store and into my car was, "so many books for so little money! amazing!"
on my way home, i decided that maybe it's not such a good idea to go half-price book shopping when i have alcohol flowing through my veins. i seriously don't need more books. i've got so many, they're currently taking over my bedroom. i fear that soon there will be no place for me to sleep. i will have to make a bed from yellowing paperbacks.
anyway, i get home, push open the door and make my way inside where i find my sister on the couch watching Gossip Girl.
i clear my throat. "i have been drinking," i announce to her as she pauses her show. "also, i have made some bad decisions today."
she took one look at the stack of books in my hand and cocked an eyebrow at me. "half-price books, huh?"
"yep."
"more Buffy the Vampire Slayer books?"
"yep."
here's the thing: if buying cheesy paperbacks based on a campy 90s television show is the worst decision i've made all week, i think i will take my bad decisions and run with them.
my friend B-Rock shops online when drunk. apparently, i book shop.
i could get used to this.
