into the wild blue yonder.

ok, so i have something completely tragic to admit.

i am a reader of fan fiction.

i don't admit this to many people in person--actually, i've only admitted it to one individual thus far. however, i truly enjoy reading it.

i've tried writing it...but it turns out that i am not a writer of the fan fiction. simply an avid consumer.

now, while i may not be a very good writer of fan fiction as it applies to television and books, i am a fan or writing just plain old fiction. in fact, as i have mentioned before, this is a dream i've had for a long time: to write fiction.

as i continue to explore the world of fan fiction, i'm more and more drawn to these short stand-alone pieces that are often referred to as "DRABBLES."

according to fan fiction lingo, a drabble is traditionally a work 100 words or less, but any short piece can be considered one.

i think i'm drawn to these brief pieces because i have such commitment phobia when it comes to anything and everything i ever set out to do.

so i've decided to write fiction drabbles. maybe someday i'll write a piece of fan fiction. who knows? but until then, i'll write whatever comes to mind.

we'll see how this plays out.

Untitled zombie poem.

Silence outside.
Too much silence.
Silence meant it was only a
matter of time.

Better get it over with
he told himself.

He flings open the door.
Sunlight pours in,
like lemonade into a crystal glass.

So does the zombie.

He's waited for this moment
and now there's no more time for waiting.

Quick as a cobra,
he lunges,
sword in hand.

It takes only a second,
and the zombie
is a jumbled heap on the floor--
a broken pile of something
that used to be.

Now gone.

Sailing Away

I remember that first time you left.
You left for the Outback--Down Under.
And I imagined you in strange, far off lands--
places where the water in the toilets supposedly spun backward.

When I was young,
Your trips home eclipsed everything else.

You were my North Star.
Even when I couldn't see you, I felt your presence
and knew you were always there.

You spent so much of your time sailing away.
Always leaving me back on shore,
waving goodbye long after you were out of sight.

It gets old, after awhile.
Waving after someone who never looks back.

As I got older, the world got smaller.
The oceans between us shrank to
puddles of no consequence.

And still you stayed away.

I realize now that you're only human.
Just like me.

And that even though you were always sailing away,
I never once tried to stop you.

maybe.

maybe if i close my eyes
the ache will stop
the tears will dry
and i will just move on.

maybe if i hold you close
that pain inside
that no one knows
will wither and move on.

maybe if i shut my mouth
the truth will never
wander out
i'll forget and i'll move on.

maybe if my heart just stills
this life that shatters
and that thrills
will finish me and then move on.

in vain

forgive me each and every word
that's died upon my tongue
the ones held fast behind my teeth
on which my heart's been hung

forgive me every sinful thought
for control is hard to grasp
and it seems that for each aberration
it's harder to win back

forgive my lack of discipline
my mind falters, as you see
and it often leads me places
where i truly should not be

forgive me for the things i want
but never let me have
forgive me for those things on which i think
but fail to act

forgive me my compassion
when i've used it as a shield
another prop to hide behind
for every sword they wield

forgive me for this thing i'm thinking
appealing as it is
life does not smile fondly on
a foot placed so amiss

i find it odd that though i plead for mercy
it won't help
for the sole forgiveness that i seek
is only from myself

i wanted

i wanted to think of a poem to write
whose theme would not seem one a million have tried.

i wanted to think of a jumble of sound
that would mean something not nothing and would strongly resound.

i wanted to write of the way that i feel
but my thoughts are just spots of emotion unreal.

i wanted to say that i love you.
maybe i should have just stuck with that.

cut.

there's something in the words you say
that makes me think you're not okay
how much life do you wish to drown?
give up now and come back down

i fear you disregard me
criticize my naivety
i apologize if i've misled
i see things clearly

not everyone can see the cuts
but each one's there--a separate rut

how very sad and tragic
that underneath this hype
i most fear you're far past saving
and i'm not the saving type